Things you shouldn't say to a military spouse:

Here's a lit of things that you should not say to a military spouse, especially during deployment. Some of these have acutally been said to me or friends of mine. There are several of these lists floating around...here's my version (stolen partly from other lists)

• My husband had to go on a business trip for 3 weeks, I know how you feel.
•  No, no you don't. That is not the same at all! That just makes me want to punch you in the face

•  Aren't you afraid your husband will die? 
• Is that a real question? OF COURSE! And, thanks for reminding me to worry about that.

•  I have no idea how you are doing this, I could NEVER do it! 
• I really don't know how I'm doing this either. But, you just have to do it. Believe me, this isn't my preference. You would do it if it's what you had to do to stay married to your husband. (I know people are trying to compliment my strength or be encouraging, but everyone just does what they have to do to get by.)

• Your husband is going to Iraq/Afghanistan? Here is my opinion about...
• Nope, nope, nope. Stop right there. Not helpful and incredibly irritating.

•  At least he isn't in Afghanistan!
• Yes, going to Afghanistan is dangerous. But any deployment is difficult and scary, no matter where he's sent. All you are doing is minimizing the situation for me.

• How long does he have to stay in the military? 
• Until more people decide to be in the military. He wasn't drafted, this isn't a prison sentence. This is his choice, our choice, and I'm proud of him. 

• Did you hear about the soldiers killed in....
• Well, I try to avoid news about soldiers who die, thanks for bringing that up, though.

• Aren't you worried he's going to cheat on you? 
• Guess what? Married people can be apart from each other and not have affairs.Would you like to me to ask you that question next?

• You're single! Let's party! 
• No, I'm not single. And I'm trying to be supportive of my husband, so partying isn't a good idea. When I'm lonely, do you thinking drinking and partying is the best thing for me and my marriage?

•  Does he get to come home for Christmas/Birthdays?
• What do you think would happen if all the soldiers got to come home for Christmas? Yep, the military is going to give him the day off and fly him home for my birthday- put the mission on hold, everybody!. No. He gets to come home for the death of serious illness of an immediate family member. Maybe.  

•  I hope he doesn't come home in a body bag. 
• Someone ACTUALLY said this to my friend. What?