Pictures: Navy Deployment Going Away Party

Before my husband's deployment, I decided to throw him a big party. I didn't throw any parties for our last deployment, so this time I wanted to give him a big send-off. I rented out the American Legion and had them cater (the Legion gave me a WAY discounted rate even though we aren't members, so it's worth looking into if you are planning a military event). It was a fabulous evening. We had at least 100 guests, as well as a DJ (a Vet who is friends with my MIL volunteered), and several friends and family come from out of town!

 I found mason jars, glass stones, and votive candles at the dollar store!

 We served hot wings, mac & cheese, beans, and corn muffins.

 Our lovely cakes were provided by a family friend who is good friends with a baker.

 The color theme was blue & gold (for Navy). With the log cabin atmosphere, I decorated with homey/country touches, lots of mason jars and votive candles and paper lanterns. The star above is the balloon anchor for our balloon bouquets. Also streamers, ribbons and balloons from Party City

 The cakes were amazing!! We were so happy! I didn't see them until they arrived at the party.

I made Sparkling Strawberry Punch with a recipe I found on Pinterest (recipe at the end). It was a big hit!

 Paper lanterns from Party City. $4 for a package of 3

 It was a very nice Legion, log cabin with a second story in the hall!

 My husband and I. He knew the party was happening, but wasn't allowed to the hall until it was time for the party, so he didn't see it decorated or any of the food, cakes, etc! He was so surprised!

 Our good friend from out of state came in to surprise my husband. This is when my husband walked in and saw him

 We wrapped the pool tables in table runners for the food, then later in the evening took them off for pool. This is how the Legion usually does their catering.

 The wings were "naked" with all the sauces on the side so guests could have more options.

 Our hall at the Legion had a second story with more tables, which was amazing because we filled up the first floor!

 At the side, I set up this special table. I had blank stationary set out and a white memory box from Hobby Lobby. Guests wrote cards for my husband and put them in the box. I will include the cards in mail and care packages that I send throughout the deployment so he is always getting mail from loved ones. Guests liked this a lot! I also had crayons and paper for the kids to draw pictures, make cards for my husband, or make cards for the troops. I also had a notebook sitting out for guests to write their email address so I can get them my husband's mailing address during deployment.

 I placed signs with instructions for guests at each "station" on the table. The signs are printed on scrap book paper and displayed in frames from the dollar store. Each sign was only $1.15 and I can reuse the frames!

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 Table runners from GFS, large packs of votive candles from Hobby Lobby. It was cold and snowy out, so I wanted the tables to be comfortable and inviting.

The party came together very nicely! We had access to the Legion's bar as well, and pool tables later in the evening. Guests began arriving at 7pm and were there until close at 3am! I was so happy with the turn out. I also had amazing help! Friends and family helped put things together and help decorate. I'm telling you, let people help if they want to! I actually did very little decorating. I was stressing out and just let those who were there to help take over while I made sure all the details were coming together.

The best part was, I was able to just relax and enjoy the party. I tried not to stress about anything once the party was in full swing, and just visited with guests and had fun! That was not as easy as it sounds. My husband was surprised and happy and people showed up to support him, and that was all that really mattered to me.




Sparkling Strawberry Punch Recipe
I tripled the recipe and it wasn't enough for 100 people, it was a huge hit! I didn't add the Kool Aid, but that's because I lost it right before the party. It turned out fine :) I also searched everywhere for non-alcoholic frozen strawberry daiquiri mix and couldn't find the kind that you are supposed to freeze, just the kind you add crushed ice to. I used that and it also worked great. At the end of the night, the pitchers were had nothing but a bunch of strawberries left (the punch was so good, people were scooping out just the strawberries!), so I had the caterers add the rest of their lemonade to the strawberries. Also, I couldn't find strawberry water, so I used strawberry kiwi flavored.

6 Things I Wish I Had Known Before Deployment

With deployment comes a lot of experience and knowledge. There are some things you simply don't know or wouldn't think of until your first deployment. Each deployment is different, too, so you will learn new things all the time! Here's some things I wish I had known:

1. Custom forms suck. These are the forms you have to fill out if you are going to mail your Sailor/Soldier  care packages. You have to list every item by weight, write all the information in the right places, and press hard enough to make it through 4 receipts. It's also best to fill these out before you tape up the package, before you get to the post office. If you include a copy of the receipt in the package, your soldier can hold on to them and you may be able to get reimbursed for shipping. Just keep a stack at home, you will always want a back-up in case you mess up the one you are filling out..
2. The military can change/cancel/alter orders at the last minute. The saying is "you don't know where you are going until you get there, or when you will be back until you get home." It's important to remember to be flexible. Flight times, orders, location, coming home dates, the mission, they are all subject to change at any time. This is incredibly frustrating, I know. It's just part of it, and if you know it can happen it's easier to roll with the punches. My husband always says "orders are written in Jell-o." 
3. Send toilet paper. The really good kind. The soldiers in the desert are using 1 ply on the giant rolls. My husband says that just one roll (since that's all they have room for in their racks) of nice, non-sandpaper toilet paper is a hot commodity in the desert. It's the little luxuries that matter. 
4. Don't send care packages that will embarrass your spouse. It may be fun to decorate the box all girlie and fill it with glitter, but don't. Your spouse will be opening this in front of other people (or it may be opened for him). You want your care packages to be fun and practical and show your love, not fill your husband's tiny living space with perfume and glitter and streamers. Believe me, guys make fun of each other relentlessly. If you are sending something for your spouse's eyes only, label it that way. Then he can make sure not to open it with everyone else around.
5. Mail does not arrive in order. Number your letters and packages. For some reason, mail has to travel through an alternate universe before it can reach it's destination over seas. You or your spouse may receive letter #20 before letter #2. Mail often gets damaged, torn, or lost and the fact that it takes so long makes no sense to me. Number everything you send. Also, be careful what you write. Don't write about a situation you need help with, because by the time your spouse gets the letter, it will be over and they will be very confused!
6. Deployment is hard, but you will be okay. Keep an open mind and an open heart. Remember that you are strong and capable and you can get through this. Use your resources!!

You know you are a (Navy) Reservist's Wife...

You know you're a Navy Reservist's Wife when...

1. You've never gotten to perfect the art of unbuttoning the buttons on his Dress Blues because you only see him wear them once a year...if that. 
2. You are used to explaining to people that Navy Reservists don't have to be near an ocean.
3. When you aren't with your husband, people you rarely see assume he's deployed, when he's actually just at work.
4. People ask you if your husband is a Navy Seal.
5. You've had to actually explain to people that your husband doesn't know anyone from Seal Team 6.
6. You feel like, unless there's a deployment happening, you have to tell people that you are a real military wife.
7. You're used to your husband only shaving his beard once a month. 
8. The main reason to get your military ID out is for discounts because you are rarely on a base.
9. People have no idea what your husband does in the Navy Reserves (especially in a land-locked state), and you aren't totally sure sometimes either.
10. You thought it would be fun to go with your husband to drill, then you realized you had nothing do and sat in a hotel for the weekend while he worked and you were the only spouse there.

Our deployment photo session: PICTURES!

Some of our best friends gifted us with a photo session with their wedding photographer. We don't have any recent pictures of my husband in his dress uniforms, and none of us together in them! With my husband deploying soon, this seemed like a great time to finally get some picture taken! Our photographer Jim Meyer did a fabulous job!! Meyer Photography

Going Away Party and Family Visits

It has been a whirlwind of a weekend! It's "that time" in pre-deployment. The time when family and friends come to visit to say goodbye, time for the going away party, time for doing all the last minute prep work, and coming up on my week off work before my husband leaves.

We had an amazing and busy weekend! On Thursday my husband's father came into town to spend a few days, and on Friday afternoon my husband's two sisters, two nieces, and nephew came to visit. Everyone stayed with us and we spent the weekend hanging out and playing with the kids. On Friday night, my husband's brother came over - it was first time in years my husband and all his siblings and father have been in the same room at the same time.

My husband's sisters and nieces and nephew left Saturday afternoon around 2pm. I took a quick rest, then got up to get ready for his going away party. The party was at the American Legion, and our Legion here in town is a beautiful log cabin with 2 stories, pool tables, and a wooden bar. The staff there was amazing, and I got a fantastic price for catering and the space because they were happy to support a fellow service member. We served hot wings, beans, macaroni and cheese, and corn muffins - everything was delicious!  A few of my best friends and my husband's mother were there to help decorate and made the place look amazing. A close family friend provided delicious cakes that were decorated with an anchor and the Navy's seal and my Mother in Law provided us with a wonderful and very sweet DJ who was a Veteran and wanted to support us. My best friend who is a photographer took all the photos for the evening. I was completely overwhelmed by all the help and support.

One of my husband's close friends from Arizona came in to surprise him (as well as provide so much help!), as well as friends from Tennessee, and other friends we haven't seen in years! We had an amazing turn out, well around 100 people. Guests started showing up at 7pm when the party was started, and we had a steady flow of people coming and going until 10pm. The party went until 2am (3am with daylight savings time)! We had at least 30 people from my husband's work, they are very tight-nit and like family. All of my husband's in-state family was there, as well as our off-roading friends, college friends, and high school friends we haven't seen in forever. I was so happy with the turn-out! My husband wasn't allowed at the Legion until everything was decorated and guests were arriving, He knew the party was happening, but he didn't know much of the details so much of it was a surprise. Our guests were all amazing and supportive, and I was told my so many different people to call them if we (or I) need anything while my husband is away. I keep saying we were overwhelmed by all the support and kindness and love, but there is really no other word for it. We are so blessed to have so many amazing people in our lives.

In all my anxiety over the party, I tried to focus on relaxing and just being with our guests. Hopefully I was able to greet everyone there, but I'm sure there's people I missed or who didn't get to visit with very long. It occurred to me that while I was working on getting all the final details in order and making sure we had enough food for all our house and party guests, my husband was dealing with the fact that he was saying "goodbye." It's so easy to get caught up in all the pre-deployment arrangements and planning and to forget what this is all about, what is actually happening. Now it's time to really spend time with each other and our loved ones.

Thank you so much to everyone who came to the party, sent well wishes, helped out, and offered their love and support!

Pre-Deployment Burn-Out

Deployment prep is winding down, all the arrangements have been made for the Going Away party, arrangements are made for family and friends to visit, and if I have to say the word "deployment" one more time, I think I'm going to punch someone.

If you anything like me, and deployment is getting close, you are probably feeling the same way. You just want to get on with it so it can get over. When you are alone in the house, you imagine your spouse is already gone, and it makes you sad but it's a little bit of a relief. The waiting, the planning, the heartache, the lists, the questions from other people, it all starts to wear on you. Being type-A, I've been throughough in my planning and prep work, and if I have to read one more thing on pre-deployment planning, I think I'm going to go crazy. Deployment prep has been consuming my thoughts and causing stress, anxiety, and sadness for several months now.

I don't know what this phase of deployment is called. I'm going to call it Pre-Deployment Burn-Out. I've been dealing with a lot of the normal things like denial, planning, emotional detachment, anxiety, and so on. But what about feeling guilty for wanting the deployment to just happen already? I seriously feel terrible just saying those words out loud, let alone posting them! But, it's the thing that nobody wants to say but that every military wife feels at some point.

The truth is, I don't want my husband to leave. Of course not. But, he's going to leave, and we've been talking about it and getting ready for it for months. It's going to hurt and be difficult, and it's a natural tendency to want to run away from pain, to rip of the Band-Aid quickly so it can be over.

So...what to do at this phase of Pre-Deployment Burn-Out?

• Take a break from your lists. Yes, it's important to have all your important affairs in order, but if there are little things that can wait, let them wait. If you haven't cleaned out behind the fridge for 3 years, another year won't hurt. The world isn't going to fall apart if you can't cross of every little project on your list. As long as the big things are in order, let go of the small things that won't affect anything if it's not done.
• If you aren't burnt-out yet or getting close to departure dates yet, set your deadlines for your lists for  2-3 weeks before your spouse's departure date. That way, the last couple weeks won't be spent burnt out AND still trying to get big things done AND dealing with the fact that your spouse leave in a matter of days. Plan family visits and going away parties for no sooner than 2 weeks before deployment so you aren't focused on being a hostess when you want to be focused on your spouse.
• Reassure each other that the reason you want to get on with deployment is because you love each other and it will be difficult when you actually have to say goodbye. You both know that the sooner your spouse leaves, the sooner he or she can be home. Don't beat yourself up with guilt for these feelings.
• Stop Focusing On Deployment. Tell your friends that you want to relax and have fun and not think about your spouse leaving, though you appreciate their questions and concern. When I'm with my husband, my brain often goes to "soak it all in, he will leave soon" to prepare myself emotionally. And then I start crying, and then he gets sad too and tells me to stop, he's not gone yet.  And, he's right. He's not gone yet, and getting sad at moments when you are trying to be happy and enjoy each other is a huge buzz kill. Push back the sadness for the moment, and be sad later, when you aren't trying to enjoy a nice dinner.
• Allow yourself moments of sadness to write in your journal, write letters you may or may not send to your spouse, and have your own private moment of grief. This will help keep you from melting down at the grocery store or at girls night.
• Enjoy Yourself. You have worked hard! You have done the work, and you will be okay. Have fun going on date nights, enjoy visits with your family that want to see your spouse. If you are throwing a going away party, have fun at it! Go get a pedicure, go on walks, read a book for fun (that has nothing to do with the military) watch bad TV, and try to let yourself relax.
• Enjoy Your Spouse. Instead of getting stuck in the sadness, love the fact that he is HERE. Have fun cooking his favorite meals, spend a little money at Victoria's Secret, take extra time to cuddle and watch your favorite movies, go out together, take a long weekend. Enjoy each other. Reaffirm you love and talk to each other.